G- know as Gary no longer works here and although it is sad, because I spend hours, weeks and months getting to know him, and now I don't. However, this does leave the door open for me to get to know other people, maybe even people who I already know. It's funny, that I'm writing about this. I have to wonder sometimes why do I write? I use to write to let go of my anger, for years no one knew that I wrote and they would be suprised that an angry kid could sit long enough to explain what was on his mind intelligently. But now, I'm not angry and I am long away from fairy tailes and I'm far into adult hood and so I don't know why I write all I know is that I can't stop. No one cares that Gary is gone, know one cares that these kids families are more fucked up then a sci-fi move and so why do I spend time typing this shit, I will never know. I think I'll take a break for a while.

Today I felt weird, or i was made to feel weird. While in class, race relation class, the professor used me as an example. An example of what many black men aren't, he said smart. He said mr. Turner got a 95 on his test, he is not like the others. And I smiled my uneasy smile, but what's funny is that something inside of me started to believe it. Let me explain, I don't think that I was the smartest African American in the class, but I believe that if I could get a 95 on the first test, and everyone knows it, I have to get atleast a 95 on the second test. The norm has been set for me, the bar has been risen. Although he was make a generalation amoung black males (not being smart), I do think that there is something in that was suprise that I made that grade. The Professor, did not want to engage in any conversation after class during the first week, he seemed as if he was too busy, but I always wondered if he though I was tring to butter him up. I told him that I worked nights and that if fall asleep to just kick me. He said ok. I thold him what I did (no he didn't ask, but it always make great conversation) he said, "sounds like you job is really demanding" and ended it with a "well I'll see you tomorrow." Ok too much info, I know but that did pissed me of. Long story short, why aren't more poor African American's pushed to do better, so later in life they won't be faced with that though on be a subordinate group.

Ok this is kind of cool, there is a kid at work that is a very good writer, he still has passion to write, so to inspire him, I gave him my old laptop. He loves it and carriers it everywhere. And more importantly he uses the laptop for writing. Besides that he is the first kid that I will see go home. The departure date is set for next month and I couldn't be happier for the young man. At 17 he wants to be publish and has the passion to do so, So good luck M.