Work related- there are a few kids here that I'm concern about, accually all of them. Only one has enough sense to make it in this world, the rest are sex crave, and will be back in court 30 days after leaving the program. And I don't know how to take this. How can a program geared toward sex offenders and sexually abuise kids fail so often. No one's here for the money and no one wants these kids to fail. One named "Tom", who's a homosexual seems to can't tell a guy no. Tom once warn use that a guy in his room should be moved out due to the other guy wanting tom sexual. I told him that he should have enough willpower to say no! It went through one ear and out the other. I don't know what to say. He plays with the guys penis and was quickly moved to another room. He claim that he was going to turn us in because he warned us before that happen. Yeah he blames us for playing with another guys penis. What will happen in the real world, I would hate to see.

Life is full of surprises and I was surprised again by the ignorance of "Educated" college students. As an English Major I have the great opportunity to read other English Major's writings. Two students responded to an autors work, entitled "The Rectum is a Grave." Sure the author was against homosexuality and mentions Aids as a consequence of anal sex. But I never expect two classmates to share the same opinion as this out dated author. One student writes, Aids is spreading because of homosexuals and that Queer Eye for the Stright Guy is apart of a fad America is going through. Another student rights, she feels sorry for those people with Aids, because they get tormented. She believes Aids victims are already punished for their actions. I would be nice to think that a "Gay" show is on the air because America is divers and our televisions reflect that diversity. And I hope that many children born with Aids are not being punished for their sins, nor a wife who's husband cannot kick the habbit and gives her Aids. See I don't see the world as Black and White, but in colors, beautiful colors.

Old Bashford

Old Bashford Originally uploaded by deantwan. It's finals time again and I feel myself pulling away. It seems that this is the only way for me to survive finals. Tonight the wife and child is over her mothers, Usually this becomes my time. My "freedom." Just as her going there is hers. To you all the truth, I love the idea of this freedom, In my apartment with my stuff and my energy, no ones elses. Well, maybe at least one other person.

Even in the country city of Louisville the planes hit hard. I think self-consciencely I want it to be a joke. The comedians on the morning radio still sounded funny, I didn't believe them. "We are under attack!" The war of the world radio broadcast flashed in my head and I refused to be one of the thousands of people who missed the introduction stating, "this is just a play." I dropped my now wife off at her job and head to school. UofL looked different, people seem to be scrambling around, looking in the sky, some were crying, others shook their heads. I cut on the radio and check my secondary sources, my third sources, and many other channels that would tune in clearly. I walked fast to my car, almost ran. Thinking a plane could come down any time. The war could start any time. I drove as if the war has started. I swirve, and swive and never looked back, thinking that the police had better things to do. I picked up my future wife and we rode home to our 6st apartment. I remember feeling scared, the thought of death being around the corner. I didn't want to collect guns knives, or even food or water. I just wanted to sleep, hoping to wake up and this all would be a dream, but instead it was a nightmare. I wanted just to make love, to have sex over and over again. I wanted something to take the pain away. I felt the same pain when I lost my first child. We made love as if we were going to leave each, as if we were on the edge of defeat, and next to death. I believed that we need each others soul and I tried to reach hers as she opened up. I remember when the first one fell, it look as if some one had pushed it down from the heavens, dust was everywhere, but through the dust, I saw the second building fall. And I was speechless. I remember seeing a person falling from the building choosing the fast death over the longer one. I don't think about what I would do for fear of the answer. But if I had to choose, I would fuck until the fires hit my back and I wouldn't stop until I felt the coolness of our love spill out.